


I Guess I'm A Cliche

by Practical_pansexual



Series: Be more chillax [2]
Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Angst, Gen, Heart Break, Mention of polyamory, Pining, Post-Squip, depression implied, self projecting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-18
Updated: 2018-01-18
Packaged: 2019-03-06 09:40:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13408539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Practical_pansexual/pseuds/Practical_pansexual
Summary: Michael loves Jeremy. How will he tell him? will he tell him? what will happen to them?





	I Guess I'm A Cliche

**Author's Note:**

> This was written at 11 o'clock at night. It has not been proof read and honestly I'm just projecting.

“You okay Micha? You’ve been acting a little strange lately.” Jeremy asked. Of course he was the first to notice, he could read Michael like an open book. At this moment, he hated that ability. He wasn’t okay, for years he’d been helplessly pining for his best friend, who was completely oblivious.

  
“Yeah, just a little tired from school stuff” he replied, trying to sound genuine.

  
Jeremy squinted his eyes in a “I can smell your bullshit” kind of way.

  
“Fine! I guess, holding this in is bad for me anyway but” he paused. Can he just do this? Can he drop this on his best friend and risk what they have? Jeremy must sense his hesitance because he walks up and strokes his arm in a soothing manner, that seemingly had the opposing effect on Michael because as soon as he felt his touch the words just tumbled out. “I love you” he said breathlessly, tightly shutting his eyes.

  
There was a long, uncomfortable silence. “Michael, I” the hand on his arm stilled “I love you too”.

  
These were the first of many, and everytime it was said the love seemed to grow. Michael hoped, that this love could last forever, he knew it could. He wanted to love Jeremy into old age and past that.

  
“I love you, Jeremy Heere, and I always will” Michael said, presenting a blue wedding band, down on one knee. Jeremy gasped with tears in his eyes. Our friends surrounded us, recording. They were all in on it, Michael had planned weeks ahead and told everyone but Jenna, who couldn’t keep a secret to save her life.

  
“I love you too, Michael.” Jeremy said before covering his mouth, not trusting what might come out if he didn’t.

  
“Then, will you do me the greatest favour anyone has ever done for me, and be my player two, officially?” Michael continued to smile even though the nervousness was eating him away.

  
“Yes. Yes, yes,yes,yes!” Jeremy chanted, overcome with happiness. Michael slipped the ring onto his, now husband’s finger. “I love you Jere” He whispered into his ear, bringing him into an embrace. “I love you too, Michael, even though you’re a huge dork”.

  
Once they arrived back home, an apartment they shared, the joy of the day had yet to fade. I love you’s were spilled as hands roamed each others bodies. That night, they made love, it wasn’t like the other nights of sexual desire, but just the need to be close.

  
The next morning, Michael woke up as the happiest man on Earth. Reality being the twisted bastard he is couldn’t let him stay that way. There he was, still in his room, one hour before school. “Shit!” He mumbled, rolling out of bed. He didn’t have time to mourn over his dream life, he was late. Quickly, he threw himself together. Headphones, hoodie, wallet, pants, keys. He ran out of his house barely having time to shout “Bye Ma! Bye Momma!”.

  
He jumped into his car and rushed to school, only a minute early to class. He took his seat, just a few away from Jeremy, who looked concerned. This was the day he’d tell Jeremy how he feels. The teacher walked in before rambling on about something. He felt his phone vibrate.

  
P2: What happened to you?  
P1: Slept late.  
P2: Ok. meet me after class  
Yeah, today was the day.  
P1: Okay.

  
The rest of the class period was uneventful, mostly because he wasn’t listening. His chest felt tight. He can’t do this, he really can’t. Stop overthinking it, all the things that could go wrong are clouding his brain and rendering him helpless. When you’re helpless, it’s hard to do mostly anything without this heavy feeling in your gut.

  
A loud ring sounds through the school. Michael walks straight out, but stops at the door. “Michael!” He hears and remembers how much he loves this voice. He turns to look at Jeremy and can’t help but smile, mostly out of nervousness.

  
“You okay Micha? You’ve been acting a little strange lately.” Jeremy says, cocking his head to the side a little, throwing Michael through a loop.

  
“Huh?” He said, only able to form one syllable words.

  
“Yeah, it’s like” he paused, chewing on his lip in thought. “It’s like you’re avoiding me”

  
“What? No! I don’t mean to, I’m just… nervous” he said.

  
“About what?” Jeremy asked, frustratedly

  
“About you!” Michael practically shouted. He took this time to take in his surroundings. They were outside, alone at the back of the school. He looks at Jeremy, which hurst him most of all.

  
“What did I do?” he asked, hurt clear in his eyes. At this point, Michael feels like shit. This isn’t how it was supposed to go.

  
“No, you just. You’re just so amazing, and caring, and funny, and… I love you” Michael said, just above a whisper. There. A long pause, just like the dream.  
“Michael, do you… do you really love me?” Jeremy asked and this makes Michael’s heart jump.

  
“Yes, I do. I really do. I love you so much” He says, and this feels like the best moment of his life. He can’t stop the smile from forming.

  
He holds Michael’s hands and smiles, that lopsided smile. “I, I can’t. I love you too, but i have too many problems and I don’t want to drop them on you.

  
That’s it, He’s broken. He wants to tell him that he loves him and will take his problems with the rest of him, but he can’t.

  
“I understand, and you have a relationship and you don’t feel comfortable expanding and i respect that.” Michael says. He means it, but he doesn’t like it. He wanted to be selfish and take jeremy for his own, but he wasn’t his to take.

  
“You know me, and I hate to use cliches, but in all honesty, it’s not you, it’s me.” Jeremy says, and Michael laughs at that because it doesn’t feel right.

  
Another bell rings and they’re late for class. “Thank you, for being honest” Michael says, and Jeremy hugs him. Who knew hugs could be so painful? He watched as Jeremy walked off to class, disappearing behind rusted double doors.

  
All he can think about know is how wrong he was earlier. Helplessness isn’t the worst feeling. The worst feeling, is loneliness

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos & comments mean the world to me. Thanks for reading!!


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